the dude can hang

...in which our protagonist realizes as she is driving home from the nightclub where she works, that Mr. Man basically hung out all night and- better yet- knew how to be cool and behave himself. Genuinely seemed to enjoy the music, let me buzz around and be social as befitted my position as resident DJ, and he did not stay rooted in one spot looking bored but actually did this cool thing where he took up various positions around the club to observe, and stayed... within my line of sight, though not giving off the slightest whiff of being jealous or oppressive. He didn't cling, but was also not afraid to display affection- he hugged me, held my hand, and invited me to sit near him, let me lay my head on his shoulder, invited me to curl up with him on a comfy couch near the end... he even did the gentlemanly behaviours of buying the lady a drink and watching her stuff at the cocktail table while she had to run away to the loo or got pulled off into side convos with the promoter/DJ team.
Like... he was not awkward. To have there. I liked having him there. It was comfortable.
For his part he seemed to be taking it all in and reminiscing about his own days of being in this type of scene before.

My ex would rarely come to the club. He just couldn't hang. It was never his scene, he didn't give a shit about the music, and while he was proud of me and not clingy either-he would sit awkwardly and not be social at all, and then he'd get bored and go sleep in the car, or leave- I was always so thrilled to see him come to visit me at the club, but he would limit his affection with me (I mean I think he was trying to be cool, not "cold", he knew my job is a socially engaging one and he wasn't the jealous type either- which I'm used to now in a man, so future men need to deal with that and this one is very relaxed with it) but I always wished he would be a little more affectionate (just like kids who benefit seeing their parents in "loving behaviors", my club kids are like my children and I'm like a weird mom or at least big sister to a lot of them and I think they want to see me happy. And they're sad when I'm sad, and... it's my job to make the room feel things. When I'm loved and happy I feel like a lot of them are genuinely happy for me. I wished he would hang around longer/meet more of my friends/ be friendly and engaging back instead of parking with his nose in a book or cell phone game and causing people to come up and constantly ask me "is he alright?" and make me have to make excuses for him. But then, he never stayed long, so though I was always a little sad and lonely to finish a set and realize he was gone sometime while I was in the booth... it was just as well he...

...fuck I am too tired to finish writing this entry.
/so much has happened, not written ANY of it.
my god. I just love him more and more.