amazing

I just had my first real, for real-reals, cyber sex, I think. I say 'I think' but that's because the last time cybersex was a Thing was like, over 15 years ago and I can't remember every meaningless chat room convo I ever had, but I do remember I was actually always pretty shy even typing, even with the one long distance virtual boyfriend I was serious about. We sort of played around the edges of cybering then, but I was still a virgin and our language was so chaste! I seriously lol to think about it now.

But this was just like, in your face, raw, naughty, unapologetic mutual masturbation session.
With Mr. Man, of course.
Because he is across the country visiting his family and I'm back at home base.
And we miss each other.
And I've been sick with a cold for a few days which means we had pretty much no nooky before he left, and we're both a couple of horn dogs.

Can I just say, how lovely it is that he totally gets me, and gets into my head? It's like he knows just what I want before I realize that's what I wanted... his seduction is bliss to fall under.
God his rhetoric is just perfect. A perfect balance of dominance and caring. The taking is overtly stated but the giving is deeply implied.
Also, the hottest thing was that I admitted having a tiny fantasy of him today based on recent real sex we had, and he made this "cyber-session" all about that particular sex we had, but I got to hear it out of HIS "mouth" (ok, fingers), to read about the experience I enjoyed so much replayed from his point of view, which was both articulate and detailed in ways I could not have known about during the subjective experience itself, being that I'm necessarily locked into my own body. Getting insight into what it was like for him, and what he might have thought was going through my mind at the time that was getting him off because he intuited that it was getting me off... I mean my mind works the same way, but from my own POV and I get so aroused imagining his pleasure... just to understand that he was laying it out this way for me tonight, the way he chose to phrase things... did it really happen that way for him in the moment, or was he embellishing for my pleasure? It doesn't really matter, does it. It was good in the moment- we both remember. And it was good to remember the moment tonight.

I love him more and more.
I told him I was going to sleep because I was exhausted and that is true, but I had to come write this down first because my brain is so wired even as my body is fading. And my heart is just... full.

well I can't stop yawning now. He told me he would look for me in the dreamtime so I'm off to meet him there.