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(no subject)
Nov. 15th, 2008 04:48 pmhorny
numb
depressed
hopeful
determined
terrified
hungry
dried out
motivated
dreamy
punk ass
stressed
escaping
missing you
enjoying being alone for a few hours
masturbating
feeling guilty
urgent
lazy
responsible
irresponsible
tired
restless
sad
bootstrapping
happy
loving you
hating this life
running through mental hamster wheels
trying to figure out something better
how to get there
i don't know
back to being depressed and scared
need to pay bills
don't have the money
feeling unhealthy and fat
wanting to go eat a tub of ice cream by myself
wanting to kick my own ass and go jogging, eat celery, stop whining
want chocolate
want hot cock
want massage
sore
stiff
achey
dammit
want to help friends in need
have no money
have no magic powers
being broke sucks
cancer sucks more
want to go back to bed
want to go work on my hair
want to watch a movie
want to finish my book
paralyzed by options
paralyzed by depression
fucked up
so over myself and my stupid problems
none of this matters
none of this matters
move on
I wish I could kiss you right now and take a nap together
there's no guarantee how long we've got either
I won't give you up before our time
nature will have to pry you from me
I know it will, eventually, I'm just not looking forward to it
I hope you don't forget the potatoes
or maybe we can get them later when we turn in the movies
this has been my day so far
Some days I feel I'm so much older, far removed from my past self, but it's a lie: I haven't changed at all
new plan, same as the old plan
-wallow in stupid depression for 10 more minutes
-get over yourself
-do your goddamn hair
-the internet is for porn, but you don't have time for multiple orgasms today, bitch, other people are depending on you
-your book will still be there tomorrow, leave it
-clean up downstairs, attempt to build grill while watching movie
-eat something but don't be weak about it
-get ready for company
-if you have to call someone because you're bored, don't call your mom because you feel guilty that you never call your mom. Call someone else, like friends in the hospital who actually miss and love you.
numb
depressed
hopeful
determined
terrified
hungry
dried out
motivated
dreamy
punk ass
stressed
escaping
missing you
enjoying being alone for a few hours
masturbating
feeling guilty
urgent
lazy
responsible
irresponsible
tired
restless
sad
bootstrapping
happy
loving you
hating this life
running through mental hamster wheels
trying to figure out something better
how to get there
i don't know
back to being depressed and scared
need to pay bills
don't have the money
feeling unhealthy and fat
wanting to go eat a tub of ice cream by myself
wanting to kick my own ass and go jogging, eat celery, stop whining
want chocolate
want hot cock
want massage
sore
stiff
achey
dammit
want to help friends in need
have no money
have no magic powers
being broke sucks
cancer sucks more
want to go back to bed
want to go work on my hair
want to watch a movie
want to finish my book
paralyzed by options
paralyzed by depression
fucked up
so over myself and my stupid problems
none of this matters
none of this matters
move on
I wish I could kiss you right now and take a nap together
there's no guarantee how long we've got either
I won't give you up before our time
nature will have to pry you from me
I know it will, eventually, I'm just not looking forward to it
I hope you don't forget the potatoes
or maybe we can get them later when we turn in the movies
this has been my day so far
Some days I feel I'm so much older, far removed from my past self, but it's a lie: I haven't changed at all
new plan, same as the old plan
-wallow in stupid depression for 10 more minutes
-get over yourself
-do your goddamn hair
-the internet is for porn, but you don't have time for multiple orgasms today, bitch, other people are depending on you
-your book will still be there tomorrow, leave it
-clean up downstairs, attempt to build grill while watching movie
-eat something but don't be weak about it
-get ready for company
-if you have to call someone because you're bored, don't call your mom because you feel guilty that you never call your mom. Call someone else, like friends in the hospital who actually miss and love you.
